Life

Well, here I am. I stand in hope and yet feel and overwhelming sense of urgency. It's an urgency for change--change in my heart, change in the way I think, change in what goes on around me, change in the people who need love the most. Sometimes I don't care, but I do. There is a deep compassion impressed upon my heart. My daddy's love fills me until I can't contain it anymore and I have nowhere to let it out. But I do, of course. I just don't always make the choice to love. I need to be like Jesus--it wasn't so much of a choice for him--it was just who He was. If He is love, I am also called to be love. I feel Him chasing me down. Sometimes He catches me and holds me close. It is the most safe feeling in the world, as He covers my head and presses it gently but firmly to his chest, as He bends down and kisses me. I am safe and dearly loved in the folds of His garments and in His strong arms. I am holding onto Him, and sometimes I start to let go, but I can't. He won't let me. He doesn't want me to give up on Him, and I won't, for He has not given up on me. He is so good, proving himself faithful once again and exposing the ridiculousness of my own doubts. I could never doubt His goodness, and yet I do becuase I have reduced him into my futile mind. This is where the change must come. This is where the humbling must take place. For I have been chosen, and I don't know exactly why, but I am beyond thankful for this commission. And all that matters is that He delights in me. I will hence live for Him and delight myself in who He is. This is my greatest joy. May I not fall into the overwhelming sea of emotions that try to steal my hope for a brighter day and a renewed life. For He has overcome all in me.